My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
