i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize