I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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