My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
