Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize