were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize