david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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