Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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