Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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