She said her name was "party"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
