this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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