the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
