Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
