I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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