if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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