yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
