Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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