He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
