No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
