It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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