Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

Fav 27 1175 4370
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(305): View more from Florida

Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH

Fav 2 2547 1480
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(516): View more from New York

You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.

Fav 7 1161 1453
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch

Fav 15 3193 922
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(843): View more from South Carolina

the evidence from last night is not good...

(904): View more from Florida

what evidence?

(843): View more from South Carolina

my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...

Fav 3 1350 731
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(406): View more from Montana

I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.

Fav 3 2068 773
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

Fav 11 2103 802
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(585): View more from New York

You were more fun when you didn't have morals.

Fav 2 234 122
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.

Fav 0 98 18
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