so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
