only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
