So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
