Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
