OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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