Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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