Non-Jews are for practice
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
