You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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