R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize