she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
