I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
