Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
