My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
COCAINE IS GR8
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
