Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
