Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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