NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
