The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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