This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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