who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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