if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
