It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
