You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
