I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
