Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
