Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
