I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The air was thick with penises
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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