I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
