If i come over, it means nothing
I have demons in me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
