whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
