Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
