How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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