Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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