Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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