last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
