Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just google imaged poop.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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