Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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