she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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