So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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