if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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