Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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