Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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