yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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