That's intense
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
