I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
