That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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